Total Drama: Shipping Wars
by KatieK101
Summary: It's season five of TD and Chris has only one theme: ROMANCE! He's bringing back every couple ever formed on TD and making them compete to see who is the ultimate couple. But when some couples can't stand each other, and some are having relationship problems, you know there's bound to be drama, and lots of it! Vote who you think should win the season on a poll on my profile. R&R!
1. Prolouge - Stupid Producers!

**Hello everyone! Thanks for stopping by and reading my newest TD fic! This is only the prologue, but be expecting the first chapter soon! ****You don't really find out a lot about the season this chap, so the concept might be confusing, but I promise it will all make a lot more sense the next chapter! Anyways, please Read and Review! It makes me to write faster! **

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Chris McLean was standing on the dock on shame getting ready to film the new season, season five to be exact, of Total Drama. Chris was more excited than usual; after going over what he had planned, this was definitely going to be the most brutal, painful, humiliating season of Total Drama yet. The lawyers had been bugging Chris non-stop about changing things to make them less dangerous, so Chris had just stopped answering his phone.

They couldn't make him do anything if they couldn't get a hold of him.

To Chris's left was his co-host and cook, Chef. "Are you sure this is a good idea Chris?" Chef asked, as one of the interns set up the camera.

Chris was running a comb through his hair. "What do you mean? A new season of Total Drama?" Chef shook his head.

"No, I mean what you have planned for the season. I saw some of your challenges Chris; someone's going to get hurt." Chris smirked.

"Yeah, so what? It won't be us, and pain just means higher ratings."

"But you just got out of prison-"

"It was _not _prison!" Chris said, cutting his co-host off. "It was an in-voluntarily _vacation._" Chef rolled his eyes.

"OK well, say someone gets really hurt. You're going to get sued, and then you'll be taking another in-voluntarily _vacation._" Chris chuckled.

"Actually I won't. New contracts this season." Chris frowned. "Why do you care so much anyways?" Chef shrugged.

"What? Am I not allowed to care about what happens to my fellow host?" Chris raised an eyebrow, not looking convinced. "OK fine. The producers said that if you get thrown into jail again-"

"In-voluntarily vacation!"

"That they would be replacing you with… Blaineley." Chris gasped.

"They're going to replace _me _with that **she-witch**?!"

"Only if you take another vacation!" Chef said, trying to sooth the now frantic host. "Look, all I'm saying is be careful. Listen to the lawyers for once. Don't disobey the producers."

"Where's the fun in that?" Chris protested. "In four seasons I've made Total Drama the networks most successful TV show, and all of a sudden I have to change my routine or risk getting fired?"

"Pretty much."

"Ugh! I hate the producers!" Chris whined, stomping his foot. As an afterthought, the host glanced at the intern setting up the camera. "That thing isn't running yet, right?" The intern shook his head. Chris sighed. "Good."

"Look Chris, it ain't that bad. You just gotta switch out a few things and re-plan some challenges." Chris threw his hands up.

"What am I supposed to do?! Replace the flame throwers with bubble blowers, and the bomb pit with a ball pit? This season was supposed to be about _pain_!"

Chef grunted, growing tired of Chris's complaining. "Well just focus the season on something else."

"Like what?! Pain brings in the most ratings! Well, pain and the love triangles, but that's-" Chris suddenly stopped, his eyes lightning up. "Chef that's it!"

"What's it?" Chef asked, eying a plate of sandwiches.

"Romance!" The dark-haired host exclaimed. "The only thing that brings in more ratings then pain, is romance! So that's what we'll do: re-write the entire season, all new challenges, new teams, new rules, everything! The pain will still be there, of course, but-"

"Whoa Chris, stop right there!" Chef warned, cutting Chris off. "We're about to film the last commercial for the new season any minute now, and the show premiers in three days. You've planned this season ever since season four ended; theirs no way you can plan a whole new season from scratch in just three days!"

"Oh?" Chris asked, smirking. "Just watch me. This season is going to be so amazing, so un-believable, so successful, that the producers will _never _even _think _of firing me again! I'm on a roll, chefy boy!" Chris flashed a victorious smile. "Interns! Fetch me a notebook; my head is so full of ideas that it might explode!"

"You don't have any more interns."

Chris paused. "What?"

"The only intern you have left is Billy." Chef said, gesturing to the intern who was now hitting the camera. "You fired the rest because you didn't want the challenges tested. Something about making them even more dangerous." Chris frowned.

"Oh, yeah. Well never mind that! I'll hire a bunch of new interns. Now, where is a notebo-"

"Um, Chris?" Chef interrupted again. He pointed to the camera, which was about to start filming. Chris didn't seem fazed.

"Great! Wait until the audience hears about this!"

"Chris, please just stick to the original idea and change a few things. You don't have a new commercial memorized; heck, you don't even have a title for the show!"

Billy started counting down. "Don't sweat it Chef. I'm a host, this is what I do!" Billy held up five fingers. Five. Four. Three. Two.

Chris put on his trademark grin and started improvising. "Hello planet Earth and beyond! I'm your host with the most, Chris McLean, and the show you've all been waiting for starts in three days! However, do to some... annoying, nagging issues, Total Drama: No Pain No Game, has been canceled. But fear not! I, the totally amazing Chris McLean, have come up with a brilliant idea! Instead of having our most painful season yet, we're going to have our most _romantic _season yet! And you know what romance means: DRAMA!

"That's right! An entire season devoted to romance. See, hears how it's going to go: we're bringing back all couples that have formed here on Total Drama, and pairing them up with each other. Those pairs will both be put on one of our two teams, and will be competing for..." Chris trailed off. Since this was a new idea, he hadn't talked to the producers about a prize. Chef covered his face with his hands, but Chris went on. "Well, I won't spoil the surprise. Guess you just gonna have to wait another three days to find out what our totally amazing, un-believable, ultimate, and very real prize is!"

Billy will signaling to Chris that the commercial was almost over. Chris started wrapping things up. "The winners of our prize will be dubbed the ultimate TD couple. But be warned: just because this seasons going to be about romance, doesn't mean that their won't be pain." Chris chuckled. "It ain't Total Drama if the pain isn't there!" Billy was now making frantic hand gestures, telling Chris to end it. "So start clearing up your schedule and making room for Total... Drama... SHIPPING WARS!" A second later the camera stopped rolling and Billy breathed a sigh of relief.

Chris turned around to give Chef a smug smirk. "See? Told you I could do it."

Chef crossed his arms. "Good job Chris, you filmed a commercial. Now you only have three days to plan a season. What are you going to do now?"

Chris didn't miss a beat. "Call the producers and talk to them about a prize. And after all the work their putting me through, it's going to be a lot better then just a million dollars. Then I'm going to start working out the detail of the season: plan the teams, work on challenges, get some new contracts."

Chef raised one, thick eyebrow. "And you can do all of that in just three days?"

"Chef my man, I can do all that and _more _in three days." Chef didn't look convinced.

"Well what if you don't have enough couples to compete?" Chris frowned; he didn't think about that.

"Then we'll... listen to the fans! The two couples that the fans love most that haven't hooked up yet will also be competing. What did Sierra call them? Fandom couples?" Chef shrugged.

"Fine, but I hope you not biting off more then you can chew Chris."

"Trust me Chef, I'm not. Now come on! We got work to do!"


	2. Episode 1 - Part 1 - Mates for Life

**Hello everyone! Sorry that this took so long, but it's over 6,700 words, and it's only part one! I know that's ridiculous, but I'm a natural story teller so it has a lot more detail then it probably needs, and a lot more background going on. Plus, I tried getting everyone's reactions on what Chris really has planned for them, and tried to keep it funny too. **

**Now, I'm just going to crush some hopes: Dott will NOT be included in this story. I'm sorry, and I know everyone wanted it to happen, but I have other things planned. But I don't think you guys will be too disappointed with what happens, because the situations that Dawn and Scott end up in are pretty… interesting. **

**I also got a review asking if there would be slash. Nope. No slash, so sorry to all of you NoCo fans, but again, I don't think you'll be too upset with the outcome. **

**So please R and R! And I promise that not all chapters will be this long at all. I only made it this long because I tried to give everyone some screen time, and had to explain the set up. I'll be responding to reviews next chapter! **

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"**SIERRA!** The show's about to start!" Chris McLean yelled from his spot on the dock of shame. The purple haired teenager immediately squealed and ran out of the mess hall, covered in pink glitter and streamers.

"OMG Chris I can't believe your letting me help you set up the show!" Sierra said, tackling the host in a hug. "I've always wanted to help you host Total Drama, and now-"

"Whoa whoa whoa," Chris said, cutting Sierra off. "You are **not **here to help me host. You are here to compete like all the other campers. The only reason I brought you back early was because I don't speak fan girl, and I needed you to set up camp." Chris narrowed his eyes as he freed himself from Sierra's clutches. "Don't think I forgot about you blowing up my plane in season three."

Sierra giggled nervously as she toyed with a piece of her still growing hair. "Yeah, sorry about that." Looking around Sierra asked, "So, did I do a good job decorating camp?"

Chris turned around to examine Sierra's job on the camp ground. "Actually, yeah, you did." Sierra had worked on decorating the island non-stop for the past three days. Pink and red heart streamers hung from the trees, and red, white, and pink glitter littered the entire camp. Sierra also pinned up pictures she had taken of the campers (whether or not they knew it), of them having 'moments' with each other.

Chris was currently looking at one of Duncan and Courtney hugging after the Phobia Factor challenge.

The dark-haired host had given the uber-fan free reign to do whatever she wanted to the island, so long as she didn't go overboard with Cody. From what Chris could tell, Sierra had kept her promise and didn't pay more attention to Cody than any other couple. Of course, that was only what he could see. Sierra probably had hidden Cody stuff all over the camp grounds.

But so long as Chris didn't find it, he didn't care.

Sierra beamed, happy she had gotten Chris's approval. "I'm** soooo** glad you like it! I covered the outside of the confession in hearts, and the inside of pictures of the couples; the girls cabins have a strict pink, white, and heart theme, and the guys have a red and white theme, also with hearts; I made sure glitter was _everywhere, _and I got one of Chef's knives and carved the couple's initials into the trees!" Chris raised an eyebrow, more wierded out then impressed.

"You did all of that in three days? And you actually got a hold of Chef's knife?" Sierra nodded, not looking even a little winded.

"Yep!" Then the purple-haired teenager blinked. "Hey, where is Chef? I haven't seen him all day." Chris grinned.

"That's because I sent him to pick up the campers who are going to be competing." Sierra squealed.

"**OMG **I can't wait to see my Codykins again! And all of the other couples too; and I finally get to meet the '_Revenge of the Island' _contestants! I have soooo many questions for them and-"

"Yeah lucky them. Being questioned by a stalker." Chris said sarcastically. He glanced over at Billy, who was almost done setting up the camera. "Yo Billy, you almost done?"

Billy shrugged sheepishly, and started hitting the camera with a tree branch. "That's not how you do it!" Sierra exclaimed, running over to the camera and pushing the intern out of the way. Then, as if she had been doing it all her life, Sierra started to assemble the camera.

Chris blinked. "How did you-"

"I've done several documentaries on all of the campers." Sierra answered, happily.

"Of course you have." Chris muttered, clearly freaked out.

"So, what happened to your other interns?" The super-fan asked. "I thought you said you were going to hire more." Chris shrugged.

"Eh. I tried hiring back my previous interns, but apparently they got a restraining order on me. Something about me ruining their lives. Anyways, I got three back, and their setting up for the challenge. I have an idea to get some more though." Sierra nodded, and then stepped away from the camera.

"Their! All done!" The dark-haired host looked at the time on his smart phone.

"Just in time too; the show starts in thirty-three seconds! Come stand beside me and remember: you are **not **a host!" Sierra gave an excited squeal as she rushed to stand beside Chris.

Billy, who had just recovered from Sierra pushing him down, glared at the teenager before saying, "OK McLean, you're live in five, four, three, two…" Chris instantly gave the camera his signature smile.

"Hello world! I'm Chris McLean, the hottest host in reality TV, and the moment you've all been waiting for is finally here: the season premiere of: Total… Drama… Shipping Wars!" Sierra squealed loudly and clapped her hands, making Chris give her a disdainful look as he went on.

"That's right; season five of Total Drama is finally here! Now, I know most of you were expecting Total Drama: No Pain No Game up until three days ago, when I announced the switch. As I said before, that was due to some very annoying, extremely irritating issues. However they seem to have disappeared for now, so let's cross our fingers and hope it stays that way."

Sierra immediately crossed her fingers, legs, toes, and eyes.

"Anyways, with that out of the way, let me explain something before our campers get here. The campers competing have _no idea _about the switch. They still think their competing in 'No Pain No Game'." Chris chuckled. "Oh sure, we could have told them about the switch, but where's the fun in that? No, much better to get their reactions on camera." The host looked out at the lake surrounding the island, and then grinned.

"Speaking of our campers, here they come now!" Chris exclaimed. Sierra shrieked as she ran to stand next to Chris, still crossing her fingers.

A boat was now in clear sight as it pulled up to the dock of shame. As soon as it stopped Chef jumped out of the captain's spot and ran over to Chris. "Chris man, the next time you need someone to drive these crazy teenagers somewhere, **don't ask me!**" Chef growled, getting in Chris's face.

The host only beamed. "Are they that bad already? Yes! Instant drama!" Chef rolled his eyes and grumbled something before heading off to the mess hall.

"Billy!" Chris called. "Go and let our campers out of the boat!" The intern looked worried as he walked over to the boat and un-latched the latch, but did as he was told.

Turns out he had a reason to be worried. As soon as the latch was un-hooked, twenty-seven teenagers burst through the small exit, trampling the poor intern.

"Hey, move it!"

"You move it!"

"Mike, get off my hand!"

"Ugh! You're all idiots!"

"Shut up Courtney!"

"Oh, don't you start with me, boyfriend kisser!"

"Look, maybe you could just- or I could just- hey! Why don't we…"

This pushing, shoving, yelling and suggesting went on for a couple of seconds before the campers finally squeezed out of the exit, and fell into a heap on the dock. Chris laughed.

"Hey campers! How was the t-" Chris was cut off as Sierra squealed and pushed past him and tackled Cody, who was currently sprawled across Trent.

"**CODYKINS! WE'RE FINALLY REUNITED!"** The purple-haired teenager exclaimed, grabbing Cody and forcing him into a hug.

"Sierra?!" Cody cried, shocked. "What are you doing here?!" Sierra hugged Cody tighter.

"Chris brought me here!" Sierra said, not loosening her grip.

Chris pushed his hair back and glared at the uber-fan. "Yeah, and I'm starting to regret it." Chris then looked at the rest of the campers and smiled. "Hello campers! How was your trip here?"

Everyone groaned.

Chris clasped his hands together. "Wonderful! I'm glad it was so awful!" Jo glared at the host as she stood up, holding her stomach.

"Ugh. You would be." She muttered, too hurt to say anything else.

"That's right; I would be. Now, how about un-tangling yourselves and standing up, so that I can introduce you to the audience?"

Scott groaned as Eva jumped off of him. "Are you sure you can't introduce us while we lay down in pain?" He asked. Chris shook his head, prompting the dirt farmer to stand up.

"Great, now that everyone is ready, let's get to introducing you!" Chris said happily.

"From our original cast, we have: Courtney, Harold, Heather, Alejandro-" As their names were called, Heather and Alejandro shot each other glares. "Bridgette, Eva, Trent, Duncan, Gwen,-" Duncan smirked at Gwen, making the Goth blush, and making Courtney clench her fists.

"Geoff, Owen, Leshawna, Izzy, Tyler, Lindsay, Cody, Noah, and Sierra." Chris finished.

"And from last season we have: Jo, Dawn, Sam, Dakota,-" Dakota smiled at Sam, holding his hand. The blonde teenager looked just like she did when she first joined season four. "Mike, Zoey, Brick, Scott, and Lightning."

"Sha-Lightning!" Lightning cheered. Jo and the rest of the cast groaned.

The dark-haired host grinned at everyone. "So campers, how's it feel to be back at Camp Wawanakwa?"

"It sucks." Mike said, speaking for everyone.

"Well duh." Chris shrugged. "It's not good for ratings if it doesn't suck."

"If you're so concerned about your precious ratings," Courtney started. "Then why did you bring back **those two**?!" The CIT asked, angrily pointing at Duncan and Gwen.

"Oh please, if Chris wants ratings he should've left you out!" Duncan snapped. "Nobody likes listening to a whinny know-it-all!"

"Well it's better than listening to a lying know-nothing!" Courtney countered.

"Hey, Duncan proved he knew enough when he dumped you!" Gwen said defensively.

"**WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?!" **Eva shouted. "You're all crazy!"

Noah scoffed. "You talk like you're not, when in-truth, you're probably the craziest person here!"

Just then Izzy ran past Noah and to the end of the dock. "Well, see ya guys! Those sea-elves aren't just going to give themselves up! No; it's up to Izzy the elf hunter to find them!" Then she dived into the lake. Noah raised an eyebrow.

"OK, well you're the second craziest person here."

Heather and Alejandro just stood as far away from each other as they could get, glaring fiercely at each other.

Chris soaked everything in before turning to the season four campers, who had all grouped together at the end of the dock. Pointing at the arguing, original campers, Chris said, "Take it all in; you could learn a thing or two from them."

Dawn grimaced. "Their aura's are all sickly shades. I sense that they do not all like each other." Jo rolled her eyes.

"What was your first clue?" She asked, sarcastically.

"Um, Jo?" Brick started, timidly. "I think Dawn just said that their aura's were her first-"

"Can it G.I. Joke."

"OK, OK," Chris said, walking over to the arguing contestants. "As much as I like watching you guys fight, we have a show to do. So… **SHUT YOUR MOUTHES AND LISTEN UP!**" Everyone flinched, covering their ears, and shutting up. "Thanks." Chris said, happily.

"Now, I have an announcement to make."

"Oh goody." Noah dead-panned. The host ignored him.

"I'm sure all of you think that you're here to compete on 'Total Drama: No Pain No Game.'"

"Um, duh." Scott scoffed. "That's what you told us we would be doing."

"Whoo-hoo!" Lightning cheered. "Sha-pain!" Chris glared at them, before going on.

"Well thanks to our prod-er, some annoying problems, there's been a slight change… OK, a pretty big change. You're not going to be competing in 'No Pain No Game." Everyone gasped.

"What do you mean?" Zoey asked, concerned. "If we're not here for season five, then why are we here?" The rest of the campers muttered their agreement.

"Oh, you're still here to compete on Total Drama." Chris chuckled. "But instead of competing on a season devoted to pain and suffering, your competing on a season devoted to love and romance!" Everyone was quiet for a moment, before Heather broke the silence.

"Um… _what_ do you mean a season, 'devoted to love and romance'?" The raven-haired girl looked ready to attack someone.

Chris smirked. "I mean exactly what I said."

"So," Leshawna started. "You mean to say that you're going to be basing this season around love?"

Tyler looked confused, as did every other camper. "Like, the challenges are going to be romantic?"

"Yes." Chris confirmed, still smirking. "But it's much more than just that."

"OK so, challenges, food, and team names are all centered around love?" Alejandro tried.

"You're getting closer." Chris answered. The campers went silent as they all thought about what Chris meant.

Noah looked around. "Hey, has anyone else noticed that almost everyone here has been in a relationship at one point?"

"Ah! Noah has a good point!" Chris exclaimed.

"Um, I haven't been in a relationship." Scott pointed out.

"Me neither." Eva growled.

"And Jo's never even kissed a guy!" Lightning laughed, though Jo quickly smacked him.

"GOSH! Noah said **almost **everyone!" Harold said. "Gosh, you people need to listen more."

"Shut up four eyes." Duncan said, pushing the nerd into the lake. Heather, Jo, Eva, Alejandro, Scott, and Chris all laughed as Harold reappeared, sputtering.

"Harold!" Leshawna cried, running over to the end of the dock and offering her boyfriend a hand. Harold accepted it as the ghetto girl pulled him back up. Leshawna glared at Duncan. "Now how in the world was that necessary?!" Leshawna demanded.

Duncan shrugged. "He was getting in my nerves."

"He hasn't said one thing to you!" Leshawna protested. Harold coughed up water. Watching this only angered Leshawna as she stood up and stormed over to Duncan, but Chris suddenly stepped in front of her.

"As much as I would love to see a fight between you and Duncan," Chris started. "We _are _on a schedule." Leshawna growled but went back over to a now soaking wet Harold.

"Now," Chris said, turning to the rest of the cast. "You guys are all close to figuring out what's going on this season, but it's Noah who's gotten the closest." Chris paused for dramatic effect before going on. "All of you are in or have been in a relationship on this show."

Brick raised his hand. "Not all of u-"

"Shut it brickhouse." Chris said, cutting the cadet off. "I'll get to you guys in a second." Brick saluted Chris, prompting several campers to roll their eyes.

"As I was saying, you've all been in a relationship at some point and it was with someone on this show. And, as some of you might know, the only thing that brings in more ratings then pain is romance."

Sierra's hand shot up. "I knew that!" Chris ignored her.

"So, does anyone understand what I mean yet?" The host asked. Everyone exchanged glances.

"So…" Courtney said. "You're basing this season on our past and present romances?"

"BINGO!" Chris cheered. "And there's more to it than that! I'm pairing all of you up with the person you were in a relationship with!" Everyone gasped (except for Sierra, who cheered), and a second later, everyone was asking questions.

"I _was _in a relationship with Gwen, but now she's with Duncan, so how does that work?" Trent asked.

"Well before Gwen, I was with Courtney." Duncan pointed out.

"And what about the ones who were never in a relationship?" Heather asked. Chris smirked.

"Why are you worrying about that, Heather?" The host asked. "You were in a relationship." Heather looked confused.

"Um, no, I wasn't." Chris still smirked and pointed at Alejandro. Heather's eyes widened and Alejandro scoffed.

"Heather and I never dated." The Spaniard said, looking offended. Chris shrugged.

"Maybe not officially, but you guys were close enough that it counted."

"Go Aleheather!" Sierra exclaimed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Your saying that I have to be on a team with _that _backstabber?!" Heather demanded. Alejandro's mouth dropped open.

"_I'm _the backstabber?! You pushed me off a volcano!" Chris looked like a kid in a candy store, as he watched Heather and Alejandro talk to each other for the first time since season three.

"You tried getting Sierra to vote me off when we were in an alliance!"

"You tried getting Sierra into an alliance so that you could vote me off, while we were in that alliance!"

"Well you-"

"Chris, I thought you said that we were on a schedule?" Bridgette asked, glaring at Alejandro. Chris sighed.

"Kill-joy." He muttered. "But yes we are on a schedule, so Alejandro and Heather, if you could save your argument for another time?"

"Forget it Chris." Alejandro snapped. "I'm not being paired with that _bruja_!"

"And I'm not going to be paired up with that… jerk!"

"Real original, Heather." Noah dead-panned.

Chris shrugged. "You really don't have a say in the matter." The host said, smirking. "You signed our new contracts, remember?"

"The contracts didn't say anything about this!" Heather shouted.

"Actually, it said everything about it." Chris's smirk didn't waver. "Didn't you read the fine print?"

"**NO ONE **reads the fine print!" Courtney yelled. Sierra raised her hand.

"I did. And Chris is right." Zoey raised an eyebrow.

"You actually read it?" The Indie chick asked.

"Well _duh_. After watching every season of Total Drama, you learn that whenever Chris wants something done that he knows you won't agree too, he puts it in the fine print. I wanted to do this though! Chris even invited me down three days early so that I could help him decorate the camp!" The uber-fan explained.

"Decorate camp?" Mike asked, frowning. Chris crossed his arms, still smirking.

"Yep. Why don't you turn around and take a good look at the island?" The cast did as Chris told, and everyone stared in shock.

"How did we miss this?" Geoff asked, as he took in all of the glitter, streamers, and everything else Serra did.

"OMG I **LOVE **the pink!" Dakota squealed.

"Right?!" Lindsay agreed. "And look at all of the hearts!"

"I hate all of this." Jo declared.

"Is it too late for me to revoke my contract?" Trent asked.

"Yes it is." Chris confirmed. "Now, I know some of you had questions about who you're going to be paired up with, how the teams will work, and what about those of you who were never in a relationship. I'll answer those questions right after I pair you up, and I'll do that, after some of you rant in our confessional!"

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**Confessional **

**Sierra: "OMG, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the confessional! I was my favorite thing to decorate!" *Sierra pointed to all of the pictures she hung up.* "Here's one of Mike and Zoey about to kiss; this is one of Courtney and Duncan smiling at each other; and look! Here's one of Cody smiling at ME… wait… maybe he was smiling at Gwen?" **

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**Heather: "I hate Chris**_** sooo**_** much right now! Not only is he going to pair me up with Alejandro, but the entire theme is LOVE! That cannot be a good thing. I just hope he isn't waiting for me and Alejandro to have a moment, because that will NOT hap-"** ***Heather suddenly gasped.*** **"Is that a picture of me and Alejandro HUGGING?! UGH! Where does Sierra get these?!" **

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**Mike: "I know a lot of the campers are upset about the whole 'romance' theme, but I'm actually really happy. Zoey are I are still a couple, so winning this should be a breeze! … That is, if I can keep my personalities in check. I have a feeling Vito and Manitoba are going to cause the most trouble. **

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**Brick: "I'm not sure what Chris wants me to do. I was never in a relationship with any of the other campers, so who could he possibly pair me up with?" **

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A couple of the campers glared at Chris (Eva, Sam, Dakota, Jo, Lightning, and Scott), while others glared at each other (Alejandro, Heather, Courtney, Duncan, and Gwen), and then a few just tried to keep the peace (Mike, Zoey, Bridgette, Trent, and Owen).

"So," Chris asked, grinning. "It's time for you guys to find out who your partner is. Or, as I like to call them, your _mate_."

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**Confessional**

**Eva: "Our **mate**?! Are you serious Chris?!" **

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**Scott: *Scott was laughing hysterically.* "Mates?! Oh, that's too good. Anyways, I probably don't have anything to worry about since I was never in a relationship. Chris will probably just let me compete by myself."**

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**Harold: "Leshawna and I are dating already, so I have no problem calling her my... mate." *Harold giggled.* **

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Chris laughed at the camper's expressions before going on. "OK, let's get the obvious mates out the way first. The first sets of mates are: Mike and Zoey." Mike and Zoey smiled at each other, before holding hands. "Second set of mates are: Sam and Dakota." Sam looked from his game guy and smiled at his girlfriend.

"Next set of mates are: Geoff and Bridgette." Bridgette tried to smile at Geoff, but the party dude was too busy texting on his smart phone to notice her. Instead Bridgette sighed and waited for Chris to continue.

"We now have: Tyler and Lindsay." Lindsay gasped.

"Todd, that's us!" The dumb blonde exclaimed. Several campers face-palmed but Tyler simply smiled and kissed Lindsay's cheek. Chris allowed their display of affection before going on.

"Our next pair of mates are: Owen and Izzy." Izzy, who was apparently done with 'sea-elf hunting', gave Owen a bright smile and nodded.

"Oh, OK, yeah that works. Come on big O'." When Owen looked a little hesitant Izzy added, "And don't worry: I promise not to try and eat you this time!" Owen looked slightly more reassured as he followed Izzy to the other 'mates.'

"And lastly from our obvious mates' category: Harold and Leshawna." The ghetto girl put one hand on her hip as she smiled at her nerdy boyfriend, who giggled to himself for some un-known reason.

The campers left 'mateless' were: Trent, Heather, Courtney, Alejandro, Scott, Gwen, Lightning, Noah, Dawn, Cody, Sierra, Eva, Brick, Jo, and Duncan.

"Now with our obvious mates out of the way…" The dark-haired host's smirk fell on Heather and Alejandro.

"No." Heather said flatly.

"Never." Alejandro agreed.

"You don't have a choice." Chris reminded them. "You signed the contract. That's how it goes. Besides, think about the fans; you wouldn't be here if it weren't for them!"

* * *

**Confessional **

**Heather: "Anyone who would EVER pair me up with that JERK is not a fan." **

* * *

**Alejandro: "So I have my beloved fans to thank for this, huh? Well let me just ask you: what part of 'she pushed me off a volcano' do you not understand?! I mean, who does- … is that a picture of Heather and I _AJUSTADO_?! Where does Sierra get these?!" **

* * *

Alejandro and Heather glared at each other before sighed and giving up. "Fine." Alejandro muttered.

"Whatever." Heather mumbled. Chris grinned and clasped his hands together merrily and turned to the rest of the mateless campers.

"Wonderful! Now, none of you guys are currently in official relationship."

"Um, Duncan and I are." Gwen pointed out, but Chris ignored her.

"However, we told the viewing audience that we would be bringing back all couples ever formed on TD, and then some. We ran into a problem involving... um..." The host looked at Sierra for help.

"Gwent, Duncney, and Gwencan." Sierra said, easily. Everyone looked confused.

"Whats-" Bridgette started to ask, but Chris cut the surfer girl off.

"Apparently it's their 'shipping' names." The dark-haired host shrugged. "I don't get it, but hey, I'm not going to argue with a bunch of fanfiction writers."

"Whoa, fanfiction writers?" Jo demanded. "You mean people write _stories _about _us_? Who the heck has that boring of a life?"

Sierra looked offended. "Um, for your information, not all fanfiction writers have boring lives! I for one have written many successful fanfics." Everyone looked creped out, but not at all surprised. Cody tried sneaking away while the fan-girl was occupied, but she quickly noticed his absence and pulled him back into a hug choke hold.

"Hey, I thought I said we were on a schedule?" Chris asked, angrily. The campers grumbled to themselves but kept quiet. "Thank you. Besides, the last thing we need to be doing right now is encouraging fanfiction. Some of those stories are… really messed up." Before Chris decided to enlist in Sierra's help, he tried to get the hang of this fandom shipping himself. The first fanfic he read was a 'NoCo' fic.

Glancing from Noah to Cody, Chris shuddered. "Just… no. This TV show does not encourage fanfiction! But now that we have that out of the way, we had some trouble with… you guys, since Duncan has been in multiple relationships-"

"Multiple?! I've only been in two!" The delinquent protested.

"And so has Gwen-"

"I only dated Trent and Duncan!"

"Would you all shut up? I'm trying to host a show here!" Again, silence. Angry tense silence, but still silence. Chris sighed, frustrated.

"Let's see if I can get through this without another interruption. We had trouble because we said that we would bring back every couple, but Duncan and Gwen both dated more than one person. We considered just pairing up Courtney and Trent since Gwen and Duncan are still dating-" Trent and Courtney gave each other awkward glances. "Before deciding to just stick with the originals. So that means Duncan and Courtney are mates, and Trent and Gwen are mates."

Everyone was stunned into silence. "Y-you mean that…" Gwen trailed off.

"I have to work with Princess?!" Duncan demanded.

"And what about me and Gwen? Do you know how awkward that's going to be?" Trent asked. Chris shrugged.

"As awkward as you make it."

"Chris, this will not stand!" Courtney declared. "I'll get my lawyers on you!" The CIT pulled out her PDA, prompting a couple of campers to groan.

"Your lawyers can't fight their way out of the fine print Courtney!" Chris taunted, as Courtney talked into her PDA. After a second Courtney handed the host her PDA. Knowing the drill Chris took it and put the PDA up to his ear.

"What do you want Thomas?" Chris asked, irritated.

Chris and Courtney's lawyer (who was apparently named Thomas), talked quietly for a couple of minutes, before Chris smirked and hung up. He handed Courtney back her PDA. "Well?" Courtney demanded.

"Sorry Courtney," Chris said, not at all sorry. "But not even your lawyers can fight the fine print. So the next time you talk to Thomas, tell him I said to put that in his pipe and smoke it!" Jo groaned and Noah face palmed.

"Or you can tell him yourself the next time I sue you!" Courtney threatened. "I promise, you'll be talking to him a lot sooner then I will!" Duncan gave Chris a pleading look.

"Chris, _please_ don't pair me up with Courtney! Look at what you'll be putting me through!"

"My decision is final Duncan, though you do have my pity." But Duncan wasn't having any of it, and crossed his arms.

"Listen Chris, I ain't goanna be paired up with 'Miss-I-Was-A-CIT'. You can pair me up with anyone else! Heck, I'd take Heather over Courtney in a heartbeat!" Heather immediately perked up, and Courtney looked highly offended.

"I'll take Duncan over Alejandro." Heather offered, eagerly. Alejandro glared at Heather.

"Well I'll take Courtney over Heather." He said. Heather's gray eyes widened and she spun around to face the Spaniard.

"You'd take Courtney over me?!" Heather demanded, angry. Alejandro glared fiercely at her.

"Well you'd take Duncan over me!" He protested. Heather growled.

"Ugh! Drop **DEAD**!"

"Ladies **FIRST**! Oh, that's right, you aren't one!"

"That's not what you were saying on the volcano!"

"I never actually called you a lady."

"Oh, so you're gay now?"

Alejandro scoffed. "Of course I'm not gay! Who do I look like to you? Cody and Noah?"

Cody and Noah's head's snapped up at the same instinct. "**WHAT**?!" The shouted together. Sierra's mouth dropped open.

"**Cody**?! Your gay?!" Cody shook his head franticly.

"No I'm not gay!" Cody glared at Alejandro. "Why would you bring me into this Alejandro?!"

"I still don't even know why **I'M** here!" Noah said, throwing his hands in the air.

Finally Chris broke in. "Hey! S-C-H-U-D-E-L-E! We are on one! So all of you knock it off and get grips on yourself! My decisions on the mates and final and cannot be changed. " The host huffed. "Why can't you guys act like Trent and Gwen?" He asked, pointing at the pair, who kept glancing awkwardly at each other.

"Now, since I've already dealt with Thomas once today we should be good for a couple more episodes." Courtney growled as Chris went on. "With… whatever Sierra called them out of the way, I can move on. The host said, turning to look at the remaining, 'mateless' campers. "Moving on to our next set of mates we have: Cody and Sierra!" Cody's mouth dropped opened and Sierra squealed.

"B-but I never dated Sierra!" Cody protested, panicking.

"We didn't have to date; we're married, remember?" Sierra asked, giddy. Cody gave Chris a look.

"You can't be serious Chris!" Chris scratched the back of his neck.

"Actually, I didn't put you guys together because you're 'married.' It was kind of a deal I made with Sierra. See, 'Shipping' is a big part in fandom, and I don't speak fangirl. Fortunately Sierra speaks it fluently and said she would take care of that kind of thing, if I agreed to make you two mates." Chris shrugged. "Sorry bro. You're stuck with her."

* * *

**Confessional **

**Sierra: "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"**

* * *

**Cody: "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

* * *

"Chris, please!" Cody begged. "There _has_ to be _someone else _that fans pair me up with right?"

Chris didn't say anything as he thought about NoCo. After a second he shuddered and said quickly, "Nope, no, no one at all."

"No one?" Cody pressed. "Really? The only person people ever pair me up with is Sie-"

"Yes! The only person people pair you up with is Sierra! Poor you, get over it!" Chris snapped, making Cody flinch. Sierra hugged Cody protectively, shooting Chris a glare. The host ignored her as he turned to look at: Jo, Brick, Lightning, Scott, Eva, Dawn, and Noah.

"Now, this is where things start to really get interesting." Chris said, regaining himself.

"I hate when he says that." Noah mumbled.

"You see, thanks to the 'Revenge of the Island' cast's lack of romance," Chris glared at said cast. "We were afraid that we wouldn't have enough couples to compete. So we asked the fans what their two favorite… fandom couples were."

"Fandom?" Jo snorted. "Are these people really that boring?" Sierra switched her glare from Chris to Jo.

"Yes Jo, yes they are. Anyways, after reviewing the results we decided to only go with one couple, due to some lawsuits." Everyone glared at Courtney, who shrugged.

"They weren't from me." She said.

"Actually, for once, the lawsuits _weren't_ from Courtney." Chris said. "But from… well, you'll find out in a second. Anyways the fandom couple we did decide to go with is… Jo and Brick!" Everyone gasped, and those who didn't burst into laughter.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Sierra: *Throws more sparkles into the air* "JOCK!"**

* * *

**Jo: "WHAT?! You stupid, boring, lifeless fans paired me up with ****_that _****maggot?! What the-" *Confessional cuts off***

* * *

**Brick: *In a fetal position* "Chris has brought me back to this island to DIE!" **

* * *

"No, I **refuse** to paired up with this joke of a cadet!" Jo declared.

"And I-" Brick suddenly stopped, and his fist clenched. He took a breath and turned to face Jo. "Actually, I'm _glad _Chris made you my mate, Jo." Everyone's eyes widened, especially those who had been on season four. Jo looked confused.

"Um… what?" She asked. Chris crossed his arms.

"Yeah, what? You guys are_ not_ supposed to get along!" Brick didn't back down.

"All throughout season four, Jo only mocked me. Nothing I ever did was good enough and she only cared about herself." Jo shrugged. "But now that Jo is going to be forced to work with me, I have every intention on proving to her that I am a good soldier, and a great team mate."

Jo snorted. "Fat chance G.I. Joke. You're only going to hold me back."

"Well then I look forward to proving you wrong." Brick retorted. Chris glared at the cadet.

"Gee Brick, way to ruin potential drama with your code of honor." The host sighed. "Whatever. Now I guess I should introduce what you fans call a…" Chris looked over at Sierra.

"Crack couple?" She suggested.

Duncan perked up. "Did someone say crack?" Courtney looked disguised and moved away from her mate.

"Wrong kind of crack, Duncan." Chris chuckled and Duncan sighed. "Crack couple is a coupe that will most likely never happen. But I guess after this, it would be crack anymore. Alright Chef, bring out him out!" Chef appeared from the mess hall, holding a crate.

Chris smirked. "Oh Eva! Get ready to meet your mate… EZEAKIEL!" Everyone gasped and this time no one laughed. Chef opened up the crate and a normal Ezekiel stepped out. His skin tone was normal again and he had (most) of his hair back.

"Hey dawgs!" Ezekiel exclaimed, leaping out of his crate.

"**WHAT?! **Your pairing me up with that-" Eva's rage was cut off.

"Look, we had no choice!" Chris protested. "Ezekiel's parents sued us for their son becoming a… um… well not human, and we were forced to bring him back. Besides," Chris smield sheepishly. "This should be great for ratings!"

Eva growled. "Well no way am I EVER-" Eva was cut off yet again as Heather growled and lunged towards the former-non-human.

Zeek yelped and ducked back into his crate, and Lightning and Scott had to pull Heather back. "Y-you jerk!" Heather screamed. "You're the reason my million ended up in a volcano!"

"Ay, it was an accident!" Ezekiel protested. "Forgive and forget, eh?" Heather only snarled and kept trying to attack the ex-non-human. Lightning and Scott's grips on the queen bee tightened.

"Sha-dang!" Lightning panted. "The girl's stronger then she looks!"

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Lightning: "But not too strong for the Lightning!"**

* * *

"Heather," Chris started, not looking all that interested as the queen bee tried lunging at Ezekiel. "As entertaining as this is, can you wait until I'm done explaining the rules to try and kill Zeak?" Heather glared at Chris, then back at Ezekiel (who was hiding in his crate), before growling and stiffly pushing off Scott and Lightning, and going to stand next to Bridgette.

"Now," Chris said, going on. "That's the end of our couples. Is everyone happy?" The question was clearly asked out of amusement, as only a few of the mates were truly happy.

Courtney and Duncan were standing as far away as possible; Alejandro and Heather glared at each other; Gwen and Trent kept exchanging awkward glances; Sierra was squeezing the life out of Cody; Jo looked un-sure while Brick stared straight ahead; Bridgette sighed as Geoff texted away on his phone; and Eva looked ready to explode with rage as Ezekiel stayed in his crate.

"Good." Chris said, looking pleased. "Moving on, we-"

"Wait!" Courtney interrupted, making everyone around her sigh. "What about Scott, Lightning, Noah, and Dawn? Who are their mates?"

Mike raised an eyebrow. "Courtney does have a point..." He said, trailing off. Noah rolled his eyes.

"Please don't encourage her." He said, emotionless.

Chris glared at Courtney. "If you could just shut your mouth for one second then I would explain!" Courtney crossed her arms but didn't say anything. Chris huffed. "As I was saying, Scott, Noah, Dawn and Lightning: you four were brought back because your fan favorites."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Zoey: "How are Scott and Lightning fan favorites?" **

* * *

"Um, how are _they _fan favorites?" Leshawna demanded, hands on hips. Lightning and Scott looked slightly offended, while Noah looked board, and Dawn was busy meditating.

"Well," Chris started. "They're the fan favorites after all of the mates."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Zoey: "Oh. That makes much more sense." **

* * *

The host continued. "Anyways, since they're fan favorites, I brought them back as interns." Noah raised an eyebrow.

"Wait, so, we don't compete in challenges?" He asked.

Chris looked frustrated. "You know, if you guys would just let me finish a sentence, I would explain everything!" Chris took a breath. "Not exactly. You guys aren't normal interns; I have enough of those. Basically, you do jobs for me but you're on a team and you help with challenges. Your also mateless, and will compete individually."

Courtney looked outraged. "How is that fair?!" She screeched, before anything else could be said. Chris opened his mouth, but the CIT rushed on. "You're saying that I have to be mates with this juvi reject-"

"It ain't no picnic for me either, princess!"

"But these sorry excuses for campers get to compete for the prize AND be mateless?!" Chris's patience was wearing thin.

"What do you want me to do Courtney?" He asked, sarcastically.

"And who you calling 'a sorry excuse'?" Lightning demanded.

Courtney ignored the jock. "Pair them up!" She exclaimed, making Scott scoff.

"With who, exactly? The only girl here is Dawn and I'm not hooking up with any hippie." Chris crossed his arms.

"Not happening; I already have everything planned out and I'm not changing it." Courtney wasn't defeated.

"Oh yeah? Well if you don't change it, I'll sue you for everything you have!" She declared. Chris eyed her.

"You wouldn't dare." Courtney started pulling out her PDA.

"Oh wouldn't I?" She asked. The CIT started calling Thomas when Chris growled.

"Fine! I'll give them mates! Are you happy now?!" He shouted. Courtney smiled smugly, but the fan favorites suddenly looked worried (with the exception of Dawn, who was still meditating).

"Um, how are you going to do that?" Scott asked. "Like I said, Dawn's the only girl and-"

"I am well aware of that." Chris interrupted. "But like _Courtney_ said, she's goanna sue me. So Noah and Dawn, you two are officially mates. That means Scott and Lightning…" Chris trailed off. There was silence for a second, and then laughter erupted.

"Scott and Lightning are mates?!" Jo laughed. "Oh, this is too good!"

"What about Noah and Dawn?" Duncan added, whipping away a tear.

The fan favorites were far from being amused. "You're pairing me up with a moon hippie?!" Noah demanded.

"Why are you complaining?!" Scott snapped. "At least your mate is a chick!" Lightning growled.

"Sorry Chris, but Lightning don't play for that side of the field." Chris shrugged.

"Sorry Lightning, but Chris don't gave a care." He retorted. "If you want someone to blame, blame Courtney."

Scott spun around to glare at the CIT. "I. Hate. You." He snarled though clenched teeth. Duncan rolled his eyes.

"Join the club." He said, sarcastically. Courtney stuck her nose in the air.

"All I'm doing is making sure this game is played fairly."

"It's 'Total Drama'!" Scott protested. "Nothing about this game is fair!"

"Helloooo?" Chris interrupted. "Schedule? We're on one? Look, I know we all hate Courtney right now-"

"Hey!"

"But we really need to speed this show up. So now that everyone has a mate, we can move onto the challenge."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Sierra: "OMG I can't believe it! A new pairing has emerged right in front of my eyes! Oh, what to call them, what to call them? Lott? Litt?" *Squeals* "No: Scottning! It's perfect!" **

* * *

**Scott: "Is Chris fricken serious? **Lightning** is my mate on this stupid show?! ** **I'm not even gay!"**

* * *

**Lightning: "Chris has got to be joking. Lightning don't like dudes, he likes cheerleaders! And Scott is NOT a cheerleader!" **

* * *

"What about teams?" Tyler asked, one arm around Lindsay.

"And the prize?" Dakota added.

"The challenge will decide the teams." Chris replied. "And I'll explain what the prize is when we return, on 'Total Drama: SHIPPING WARS!'"


	3. Episode 1 - Part 2 - Aleheather Tribute

***Pants* Holy... crap... this chapter took FOREVER! But I would get used to that. Since there are so many campers, I want everyone to get a chance to speak, so chapters are pretty long. Actually, I had to cut this chpater into a part two, because it was taking so long to write. So expect a part three... sometime. And then I have, like, five other stories I need to write for, and three more on the way. *Sighs* I have a very unorganized FF life. Anywho, review replies are at the end of this chapter, as is a recap and what is to come. **

**So enjoy! And Read and Review!**

**Disclaimer - Nope. **

* * *

**Theme Song **

"And we're back with Total Drama: Shipping Wars!" Chris McLean exclaimed.

"Unfortunately." Noah deadpanned. Several campers muttered their agreement. Harold raised his hand.

"Did anyone else notice that they played the theme song after the first commercial break?" Everyone ignored him, prompting the dweeb to mutter, "Gosh!" angrily under his breath.

Chris went on hosting. "Before our commercial break, our campers found out who their 'mate' was going to be for the rest of the season, and some were happier than others." Turning to the campers, Chris said, "Now, before I announce the challenge and this season's reward, why don't all of you take a moment to rant in our newly decorated confessional?"

* * *

**Confessional **

**Cody: "Ugh, I can't believe Chris paired me up with Sierra! I mean, after season three, Sierra and I were friends. I even **missed her** when the show ended! But a month later, she sneaked into my bedroom and crawled into my bed. And I didn't find out until one o' clock the next morning when she was **snuggling** with me!" *Shudders* "Creepy stalker status restored!"**

* * *

**Sierra: "I am SOOOOOOO excited about this season! I mean, a season dedicated to ROMANCE? What could be better than that?! Oh! And now I have to add Jock, Nawn, Scottning, and... um... Evazekiel(?) pictures to the confessional!" *Gets out her smart phone and started rapidly texting.* **

* * *

**Jo: "Great. A season dedicated to ROMANCE. How could it get **any **w- is that a picture of me **looking** at **Brick**?! Where does that stalker girl get these things?!" **

* * *

**Brick: "I'm tired of Jo always beating me up and calling me names. But maybe this season I can prove her wrong?"*Sighs and looks doubtful***

* * *

**Duncan: *Crosses arms* "I hate Chris. I hate the producers. And now I hate you fans. Enough said." **

* * *

**Courtney: "Really Chris? DUNCAN?! I mean, I understand that you had to pair us up with our current or former romances, but **DUNCAN**?! Couldn't you have just left me out of the show?! UGH! You will so be hearing from my lawyers! Get a lawsuit ready Thomas!" **

* * *

**Trent: "So… Gwen. Honestly, whenever Chris said he was pairing us up, I was on cloud nine! I guess I never really got over her. But she's with… Duncan. And from what I hear, he doesn't like it when other boys flirt with his girlfriends. But if Chris paired us up, then there's nothing Duncan can do about it, right?"*Looks somewhat hopeful.***

* * *

**Gwen: *Was resting her head on her hands* "This is going to be the worst season, by far. I'm not worried about Duncan falling for Courtney or anything, but I have to be with Trent. And while Trent's a great guy and all, we're just friends."**

* * *

**Heather: "I hate you Chris. Alejandro and I never even dated, so I don't know where you think you get off pairing me up with him! Ugh, I don't care what the prize is, I promise you, it will NOT be worth it!" *Thinks for a moment* "I wonder if Courtney would let me borrow her lawyers?" **

* * *

**Alejandro: "While I am less then pleased about being paired with that she-witch, maybe I can turn the tables in my favor. In season three, nothing irritated Heather more then when I flirted with her. If that is still the case, then perhaps I can make Heather fall for me again, and then break her heart, so that she truly understands the pain she sent me through!" *Blinks after a second and hastily adds*"Not that I ever liked her…" **

* * *

**Leshawna: "Man, I don't know why some people are so upset about this season. Sure, maybe they don't like the people their paired with, but the prize has got to be a million dollars. Surely to God they can put up with someone for a million dollars!" **

* * *

**Harold: "I don't like Duncan. Duncan and Courtney don't like each other. They won't be on their A-games. They're going to lose challenges. I think you see where I'm going with this." **

* * *

**Lindsay: *Was facing the wrong way* "What am I supposed to be talking about again? And… who am I supposed to be talking to?" **

* * *

**Tyler: "Dude, I am so super stoked about this season! If the season is about love and couples, then me and Lindsay have nothing to worry about! Lindsay's by far the prettiest girl on the show... except for maybe Heather. And Dakota. And Courtney and Zoey are pretty too. And possibly Bridgette... OK, Lindsay might have some trouble, but that's OK! I'll help her, especially since I'm the most athletic dude on the show. Except for maybe Eva... and Jo... and Brick... and Lightning seems pretty athletic... you know, this may not be as easy as I thought..."\**

* * *

**Zoey: *Was smiling shyly* "Sooo I am really excited about this season. Mike and I don't live close to each other, and we don't get to see each other a lot. I really miss him when we're separated, but not we have a whole season to be around each other! If I'm worried about anything, it's the veterans. They've played this game for so long, and some of them are really mean... please don't tell them I said that!" **

* * *

**Mike: "Zoey and I are one of the only couples actually happy about being with each other. But, I guess not everyone can get a girl as good as her." **

* * *

**Owen: "I'm glad Izzy is my mate and all, but I'm also a little scared. Izzy can be a bit crazy at times." **

* * *

**Izzy: "OMG me and Big' O are going to have so much fun this season! We'll go troll hunting, sea-troll hunting, garden troll hunting, and my favorite: forest troll hunting!" **

* * *

**Bridgette: *Was looking um-comfortable* "So, I know a lot of people are probably wondering why Geoff and I haven't made out yet. Honestly, Geoff and I aren't doing that great. I mean, we've spent every possible moment together since season one, but after season four started and the aftermath was canceled, Geoff started getting a lot of phone calls about hosting other shows. And I'm proud of him and all, but the past couple of weeks he's been ignoring me. And he **always **has his phone with him." *Sighs* "I don't know. Maybe the show will help. After all, the theme is romance."**

* * *

**Geoff: *Was texting lazily on his phone* "Yeah, Bridgette's great. Hey, do you by any chance have the **_**'Canadian Idol' **_**number? Apparently Randy Oceancrest is old news, and they want me to be the new host!" **

* * *

**Dakota: "So after season four of Total Drama, I was still a hideous monster. And of course, we can't have that. So daddy paid a lot of money and had some doctors fix me!" *Giggles* "And now I'm back to normal! I think Sam's a little disappointed I'm not a mutant anymore, but he got over it." *Gushes* "He is SUCH a good BF!" **

* * *

**Sam: *Playing his video game* "Sure I wish Dakota was still a mutant, but now she's happy, and so I'm happy. Besides, it's a lot easier to go shopping with her now!" **

* * *

**Scott: *Glares at the camera* "I used to call the dwebs in school gay. Know why? Because it ain't cool! And no matter how many times I called them that, they never called me gay. Know why? BECAUSE I AIN'T GAY!" *Regains himself* "Mama, pawpaw, if you're watching this, I AIN'T ga- why the **** is there a picture of me and Lightning hugging?! We didn't ever hug! UGH! I BAME YOU COURTNEY!"**

* * *

**Lightning: *Glares* "Let's get one thing straight: Lightning likes cheerleaders and girls in short skirts. Lightning does not like redneck farm boys."**

* * *

**Dawn: *Was no longer medatiting.* "Not many of the couples seem happy with their mate. I understand that some do not truly feel any affection for their partner, like Scott and Lightning, or Eva and Ezekiel, but there are some who do love their mate and are simply denying it. A good example of that would be-" *Confessional cuts off* **

* * *

**Noah: "So Chris paired me up with the moon hippie. Yeah, can't say I'm too thrilled about being 'mates' with a girl I've never spoken too, but it could be worse. I could be paired with Eva. I really don't think Zeak is going to survive another season of this show." **

* * *

**Ezekiel: "Hey yo to all my peeps back home, eh! I told yous I'd be back on this show! And now that I'm here, I'm goanna win! With that strong girl Eva as myh mate, nothin' can stop me!" *Pauses* "Cept' maybe that Heather girl. She's still pretty mad at the Zeek."**

* * *

**Eva: "I ******* hate this show! And Chris, you are ***** DEAD to me! Do you hear me?! ***** DEAD!"**

* * *

Chris looked a bit worried after Eva's confessional, but proceeded with the show.

"So, now that you at home know how our contestants feel about their mates," some couples smiled at each other, while others glared, "it's time for me to announce what this season's prize is going to be."

"It's the million dollars." Leshawna said. "That's what the prize has always been."

"Actually Leshawna," Harold started. "Back in season one, the prize was only one hundred thousand dollars." The Ghetto girl, along with the rest of the cast, groaned.

"I know honey, I was there." Leshawna said. "But no way is Chris going to lower the prize money."

"You don't know that." Noah said dryly. "Chris is an evil, evil man."

"Yeah." Duncan agreed. "The prize is probably some old, moldy ham and cheese sandwich."

"Hmm." Owen moaned. "Ham and cheese!" Everyone shot Owen a disgusted look and stepped a couple steps away from him.

Chris smirked. "While I'm touched that you all think so lowly of me, I am required by law to give you an _actual _prize."

"Ham and cheese is a reward!" Owen protested, but the host ignored him.

"Anyways, I picked this prize out just in case a certain couple wins." Chris looked smug as all of the couples swallowed nervously. "The season five reward is… a vacation to Hawaii!"

Everyone instantly knew who Chris was talking about, and said couple's faces' turned red with anger.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Heather: *Glares at the camera* "**_Really_ **Chris?! ** **You have **got **to be joking!"**

* * *

**Alejandro: *His expression mirrored Heather's* "I never thought I would not want to win Total Drama. But really Chris? The reward is a trip to Hawaii? The place where Heather pushed me down a volcano?! Ugh! I am dealing with a bunch of **_**idiotas**_**!" **

* * *

**Leshawna: *Frowns* "If I didn know better, I'd think Chris **_**expects**_** Alejandro and Heather to win. But thankfully I do know better: Chris doesn't have favorites. He hates us all equally." **

* * *

**Tyler: "The prize is a trip to Hawaii? HECK YEAH!" *Cheers* **

* * *

"Chris," Heather said slowly, "You are a sick, cruel, evil-"

"Corrupted, slimy, twisted man." Alejandro finished, looking threateningly at the host. But Chris only smirked.

"Aw, aren't you two just the cutest things? Finishing each other's sentences!"

Alejandro and Heather glared at Chris, then each other, then at Chris again.

The dark haired host went on. "Anyways, this season's winners get two tickets to Hawaii, where they will be staying in an exclusive five star hotel, and will be given five hundred thousand dollars to spend on their 'honeymoon'." Almost everyone cheered.

Chris waited until the cheering died down before going on. "Now, onto today's challenge! Each-"

"Wait!" Brick interrupted. "What about teams?"

Jo rolled her eyes. "Of course you would worry about being on a team." Brick turned to face Jo and opened his mouth, but Chris beat him to it.

"If you guys would just let me finish my sentence," he said tartly, "then I would explain everything. I'm not going to assign teams, the challenge is."

"You mean like back on season three?" Bridgette asked. Chris nodded.

"Exactly. In this challenge each couple will complete an obstacle course. At the end of the course, the teams will be decided."

"An obstacle course?" Lightning asked, perking up. Chris smirked.

"Yep. And I have to say, I am extremely proud of myself for coming up with this. If you would all be so kind as to turn around?"

The campers obeyed, and when they did, everyone gasped. The obstacle course wasn't visible, but the giant volcano standing in front of the cliff was.

"Chris," Heather started slowly. "What the **heck **is that?!"

Chris grinned. "I'm glad you asked Heather! You see every couple of episodes we're going to have, what I like to call, a 'tribute' episode. It's where that day's challenge is dedicated to a past episode that had a large amount of, um…" Chris glanced at Sierra for help.

"Fluffiness?" The purple haired girl suggested.

"Fluffiness?" Zoey echoed.

"Fluffiness." Chris confirmed. "If you're a pair of mates on the show, then you probably had one of these episodes."

* * *

**Confessional**

**Noah: *Raises an eyebrow* "What if you never met your mate until today?"**

* * *

**Scott: *Crosses his arms* "What if you and your mate are both dudes?"**

* * *

**Eva: "WHAT IF YOU WANT TO ***** KILL YOUR MATE?!" **

* * *

"So, does that mean everyone gets a tribute episode?" Trent asked, a little too hopefully. Duncan narrowed his eyes and Chris shrugged.

"Oh, probably. Whether or not you're here to take part in that episode is another matter. Also, we're bringing back the reward challenges!"

Everyone cheered.

"However," Chris added, "just like Total Drama: World Tour, I will not be announcing whether or not it's a reward challenge until after the challenge."

Everyone groaned.

"Now," The host said, picking up where he left off. "Heather asked why the volcano was here, and like I explained, it' for a tribute episode. One of our most viewed episodes ever was the season three finale, where Alejandro confessed his love for Heather."

"I was only acting to try and throw Heather off!" The Spaniard protested.

Noah snorted. "Bad choice of words Alejandro." Everyone laughed (some louder than others), and in doing so, missed the hurt look that flashed across Heather's face. Everyone except Dawn, who looked thoughtful.

Chris chuckled as well. "Whatever you say, Al. Anyways, so as most of you might have figured out, this is an Alejandro and Heather tribute episode."

Both contestants refused to look at each other as Sierra exclaimed, "Aleheather!" And threw glitter in the air.

Chris eyed the super fan with disdain as he said, "Alright everyone, let's get moving. We _are_ on a schedule you know."

* * *

Chris and the rest of the mates were trucking through the forest.

"How much longer do we have to walk?" Scott asked. Trent glanced back at him.

"We've only been walking for nine minutes." He said matter of factly. He missed Gwen's horrified look and Scott groaned.

"That's nine minutes too many!" He complained. Tyler ran past him.

"Well_ I_ could go _nine more_ minutes!" The wanna-be-jock bragged. As soon as he finished his sentence he ran straight into a tree. Duncan, Jo, Eva, Alejandro and Heather walked past him laughing. Lightning shook his head, disgusted as he walked by.

"Ohmygosh, Trevor!" Lindsey yelled, rushing over to her fallen boyfriend. Said boyfriend groaned as Lindsey got his name wrong (again!), prompting laughter from the rest of the campers.

* * *

**Confessional**

**Tyler: *Had a black eye* "Not again!"**

* * *

**Gwen: *Had her head in her hands* "Not again!"**

* * *

Once Chris and company reached the top of the cliff, the host turned to face the campers. "Now campers, I'm sure you all see the volcano right in front of our beloved cliff.

"Duh." Duncan said, arms crossed. "It's kind of hard to miss."

"There isn't real lava in it, is there?" Mike asked, looking worried.

"And how the heck did you even get that thing here?" Jo added.

Chris looked frustrated. "You know, for a bunch of teenagers who wish they weren't here, you guys sure do have a lot of questions. First off, no Mike, the volcano does not have real lava."

"Ah." Noah nodded. "So it's full of fake lava."

Chris shot Noah a glare. "No Noah, it's full of a lava substitute."

"You mean this show is so cheap you can't even afford fake lava?" Courtney demanded, making a couple of campers snicker. Chris gave her a glare as well.

"Well if you must know Courtney, the substitute is actually red _jello_." Courtney's eyes widened and she gulped. Owen on the other hand, fainted on the spot.

"Owen!" Zoey cried, running over to help the overweight boy.

* * *

**Confessional**

**Courtney: *Looked nervous* "I know that on Total Drama Island I was only scared of the green jello, but after Owen and the rest of the guys had a jello eating contest back at the plaza someone thought it would be funny to steal some a put it in my bed. That night I crawled right into it and… after that…" *Courtney shuddered.*"I swear, when I find out who is responsible for that prank, they will DIE!" **

* * *

**Harold: "You know, I'm kind of surprised Courtney hasn't found out who put jello in her bed back on the plaza. It's totally obvious." **

* * *

**Brick: "Well, at least the jello is red like lava. Their trying!"**

* * *

**Dawn: *Was glaring at the camera* "How dare Chris take a volcano away from its environment!" **

* * *

**Zoey: "Am I the only one who's concerned about Owen passing out?"**

* * *

"Anyways," Chris went on, "as for Jo's question's, I have no idea how the volcano got here."

Everyone stared at Chris, who shrugged. "What? Chef knows a guy. He doesn't ask questions and neither do I."

"Wanna bet this'll land Chris in prison again?" Cody whispered to Noah, smirking. Chris overheard them and immediately lost his cool.

"Let's get one thing straight!" Chris shouted. "It was not a trip to prison! It was an in-voluntary vacation!"

"You went on a vacation?" Lindsay asked, excited. "Where'd you go? Spain, Hawaii, France?" Lindsay gasped. "Paris?!"

Chris stared at her. "What? Lindsay I went to pris- er I mean, I went to Pris… Prisomatic."

Mike looked confused. "Isn't that a race track in Tennessee?" Everyone stared at Mike, who laughed nervously. "Vito is a big race track fan." He admitted. "Like this one time my shirt got caught on a tree branch, and when I came back in control I was in a race c-"

"Yeah," Chris cut him off. "No one cares Mike."

Harold raised his hand. "Actually Chris, I found Mike's story to be very-"

"Like I said, nobody cares." Chris said again, glaring at the nerd.

Harold huffed. "Gosh."

"I thought we were on a schedule?" Gwen asked, looking board.

"We are." Chris said. "But you guys won't let me explain the challenge!"

"You sound like a whinny two year old." Duncan said looking even more board then Gwen. Chris glared at the delinquent before sighing.

"You guys are a bunch of jerks. Anyways, so let me explain today's challenge. As I said before, this will decide what team you're on so pay close attention.

"The volcano, as I've already stated, is full of jello. It also has fourteen keys is it; one key for each couple. There are two separate kinds of keys, and I'll explain that in a second. So what you and your mate have to do I dive down into our jello-filled volcano, grab one key, climb out, and then go through of obstacle course of ever-lasting love."

"Obstacle course of ever-lasting love?" Scott snickered. "That's not lame at all." The dark haired host shrugged.

"Sierra said it would boost the romance factor." Sierra nodded as she tightly hugged Cody. "And I wouldn't be laughing too hard if I was you Scott; you have to go through it with a dude!"

A couple of campers laughed while Lightning growled and Scott's face turned the same shade as his hair. Chris was laughing too, until he saw that Heather and Alejandro were not. "What's the matter with you two?" Chris asked. "You haven't said a word since I announced this was an Aleheather tribute."

"Aleheather!" Sierra exclaimed, throwing glitter in the air, while still managing to hold Cody.

'Aleheather', glared at both Chris and Sierra. The host shrugged.

"Fine. Be that way. So back to the keys: after you finish the obstacle course you'll see two large cabins, not un-like the ones from 'Total Drama Island' and 'Total Drama: Revenge of the Island. One key un-locks one cabin, and the other key un-locks the other cabin. At the end of the challenge, everyone in one cabin is a team and everyone in the other cabin is a team."

Chris looked around at his campers. "Any questions?"

Courtney raised her hand, and several campers rolled their eyes. "What if your partner-" The CIT glared at Duncan, who rolled his eyes, "let's you jump, but doesn't follow you? What's to make sure that they go with you?"

Duncan smirked. "Glad you think so lowly of me, princess." Courtney growled and spun around to face her mate.

"Don't you ever call me that name AGAIN!" Then she lifted her knee and kicked Duncan's kiwis. The delinquent's eyes widened and he whimpered, before falling over. The guys all cringed and stepped away from an angry Courtney.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Geoff: *For once, wasn't on his phone.* "Oh boy, do I feel bad for Duncan!"**

* * *

**Mike: *Was cringing* "That can't feel good!"**

* * *

**Scott: *Crossed his arms* "Not only is Courtney annoying and responsible for Lightning being my 'mate', but she's crazy too! She is so going home first!" *Looked ready to leave, before he saw another 'Scottning' picture in the confessional.* "UGH!" *Rips the picture***

* * *

**Duncan: *Was holding himself, his face screwed up in pain* "I-I r-regreat n-nothing!"**

* * *

Jo was now restraining Courtney, as Gwen helped her boyfriend up. "Duncan, are you OK?" She asked, concerned. Duncan groaned in response.

The Goth glared at Courtney. "Who goes around kicking peoples in their kiwis?!" Courtney returned her glare.

"Who goes around stealing other peoples boyfriends?!" She countered.

Gwen threw her hands in the air, letting Duncan fall back to the ground with a thud. "You guys were over when we got together!" Duncan groaned again, reminding Gwen of his presence. "Oh, sorry Duncan!" She apologized, helping him back up.

Trent watched Gwen sadly, and Sam cleared his throat. "Actually Gwen, considering Duncan and Courtney broke up because of you, and the second they did you snatched him up, even if you didn't steal Duncan, you're still the reason they're not together."

"Sam honey," Dakota started, patting his arm. "Don't get involved. You learn in high school never to get involved in this kind of thing."

"I didn't snatch him up!" Gwen protested. "And besides, she's with him now! There mates, remember?"

"Yes Gwen, they are mates." Chris said, looking board. "Thank you for pointing out that very obvious fact. Does anyone else have any obvious facts they would like to share?"

Noah shrugged. "Tyler's wearing a red jumpsuit? Duncan has a criminal record? Chris used to make bad TV shows about talking cats?"

"Actually Noah, that last one isn't a fact." Harold pointed out. "You see, because you said 'bad' TV shows about talking cats, it's your opinion. Therefore, it cannot be proven and is canceled out as a fact."

"You've clearly never seen the shows." Noah said, emotionless.

Chris was glaring at Noah. "How about Noah is a sarcastic smart mouth?" Noah shrugged.

"Guilty as charged."

Chris sighed and returned to hosting his show. "Anyways, before Courtney's blow up, she asked a very important question: what if your mate doesn't follow you into the volcano?"

* * *

**Confessional**

**Jo: "I wouldn't follow any of these fools into a volcano."**

* * *

Chef appeared with a card board box, and handed it to Chris. "The answer to your question, Courtney, is hand cuffs."

"Hand cuffs?" Duncan asked, looking worried. Chris chuckled.

"Yes, hand cuffs. You should be used to this by now Duncan."

"Um, excuse me," Courtney started, "but I have never been in hand cuffs and I don't intend to start now!"

Leshawna rolled her eyes as Chef hand cuffed her and Harold together. "Oh please, it's not like this is going to go on your permanent record."

Chris opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and closed his mouth again.

"Well, no." Courtney agreed reluctantly. "But I still have standards to live up to!"

Jo groaned. "Just shut up already!"

Courtney huffed and Zoey shot her a kind smile. "Don't worry Courtney; Chef will probably take them off right after the challenge." As an afterthought, the cherry topped girl looked over at Chef, who was hand cuffing Sam and Dakota together. "Right?" She asked.

Chef shrugged. "Don't know, don't care."

Zoey swallowed. "I'll just pretend you said yes.

Courtney stopped her foot. "Well you can pretend all you want, but I refuse-"

"Courtney," Chris started, "if you don't wear the hand cuffs, then how do you know Duncan won't push you into the volcano and not follow you?"

Duncan, who was still leaning on Gwen, smirked. "That's a pretty tempting thought." Courtney gasped and spun around to face Chef.

"Hand cuff us next please!"

* * *

Ten minutes later all of the mates were hand cuffed together.

It should have gone faster, but Chef had to use a mild moose tranquilizer on Eva so that he could cuff her to Ezekiel. After that though, everything had gone surprisingly smoothly.

"Now, is everyone in hand cuffs?" Chris asked loudly.

Harold snickered. "That's something you don't say every day."

"Um, Chris?" Owen asked. "Can I get a bigger set of hand cuffs?" He held up his hand, and Chris saw that the hand cuffs were so tight that they were cutting off his circulation. Chris raised an eye brow.

"That depends; do you plan on suing us if your hand falls off?" Owen blinked.

"Um no… I guess not." The over-weight boy said, looking a little worried.

"Idiot!" Courtney yelled at him. Chris shook his head.

"In that case no. You do not get a larger set of hand cuffs."

"Don't worry big O'!" Izzy said. "If your hand does fall off then I promise to put it on a card board box for you until we can sew it back on. Ohh I wonder if you'll be able to see the stitches? You would totally look like Frankenstein! Wouldn't that be cool?! Say that would be cool!"

Owen's eyes were wide and he looked like he might pass out again.

Chris on the other hand just looked disturbed. "Yeah… and with that creepy conversation out of the way… GO!"

As soon as he shouted 'go', Lightning took off. "Whoo-hoo!" The jock cheered. "Lightning's goanna be-" All of a sudden Lightning was jerked back. Looking back, he saw Scott clutching a massive boulder.

"What the sha-crap Scott?!" Lighting yelled.

"Are you crazy?!" Scott demanded. "I am not diving into a volcano!"

Lightning crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "What are you? Some chicken?"

"Chicken?!" Tyler exclaimed, hiding behind Lindsay.

Scott glared at Lightning. "No, I just don't want to die!"

"Do you want to be second?" The jock argued. Scott raised an eye brow.

"Second? I don't see anyone else trying to be first." Lightning opened his mouth to argue but saw his mate was right. No one else was moving towards the volcano. Chris also noticed this.

"Hey," Chris demanded. "What's the hold up?"

"Um, we don't have death wishes?" Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"Some of us have a fear of jello?" Duncan said jabbing a thumb at a now-chalk-white Courtney.

"Some of us aren't crazy?" Bridgette asked.

The dark haired host looked annoyed. "Look, guys, this isn't any different from the-"

"From part two of the first episode of season one?" Sierra said, cutting the host off. "Where all of the original campers had to dive off a cliff, into a shark-free zone, and grab a crate full of supplies to build a hot tub?"

Everyone stared at the uber-fan. "I know I should be used to that by now," Trent said, looking disturbed. "But..." The musician trailed off and shuddered.

"I don't think you ever get used to it." Gwen agreed. Trent immediately brightened as Gwen agreed with him, and Duncan glared at his girlfriend's mate.

"At least you're not hand cuffed to her." Cody mumbled. Sierra giggled.

"Oh Cody, you're so adorable." Then she threw her arms around his hand, crushing him in a hug. Cody sighed, used to it.

Chris watched them both for a moment before turning to look at his campers. "Yeah, what Sierra said. About the episode, not about Cody being cute."

"So you deny it?!"

"Anywho, if you guys could jump off a cliff and into shark infested waters-" Scott shuddered, "then I don't see the problem with jumping into a enclosed area of jello."

"Because some of us are scared at jello!" Courtney shouted. Chris ignored her.

"So," the host started, "who's going first?"

Silence.

"Are you serious?" Chris demanded. "After my very inspiring pep talk, no one volunteers?"

Harold scoffed. "That could hardly be called a pep talk, Chris. A pep talk consists of-"

"Oh look!" Duncan exclaimed. "Harold volunteered!" Then, before the nerd or his mate had time to react, Duncan pushed Harold into the volcano. Leshawna screamed as she was dragged down after him, and (most) everyone burst into laughter. The few who didn't either looked disgusted or concerned.

"Leshawna!" Gwen cried, running to the edge of the volcano. Trent had no choice but to follow her, since they were hand cuffed. "Are you OK?"

"GOSH DUNCAN!" Harold shouted at the top of his lungs.

"This is so not cool!" Leshawna yelled, causing a couple of campers to laugh even harder. "Do you know what it takes to jello out of this weave?!"

* * *

**Confessional**

**Harold: *Was covered in red jello* "This is the second time today Duncan has pushed me into some form of liquid. He's being a bigger jerk then normal!"**

* * *

**Leshawna: "Oh, juvie boy is so gettin it!"**

* * *

Gwen was still looking into the volcano when Courtney got an evil smirk on her face. Taking Duncan by surprise, Courtney rushed forward and slammed into Gwen, knocking both her and Trent into the volcano.

"Take that boyfriend kisser!" Courtney shouted after her. Unfortunately, her plan back fired.

"Gwen!" Duncan cried, and without thinking, jumped head first into the volcano after his girlfriend. Courtney screeched the entire way down, and when she landed, she fell on Harold. The CIT looked ready to cry.

"Ew, ew, ew, EW!" She groaned. "It's warm and squishy!"

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Courtney: *Throws her hands in the air* "What did I ever do to deserve this?!" **

* * *

**Gwen: *Covered in jello, but smirking* "Payback's a *****, Courtney." **

* * *

**Harold: *Groans* "Ugh, I guess that was Courtney's revenge for voting her off in season one… ugh."**

* * *

Back on top of the volcano, everyone was laughing again.

"Leshawna, Gwen, and Courtney?" Heather asked, whipping away a tear. "Finally, something goes my way!"

Ezekiel tilted his head. "What are you talkin' boot Heather? Didn yous win season third?"

Now, if Eva had been conscious at that moment, perhaps she would have stepped in and tried to help her mate out of what he had just gotten himself into.

Probably not, but it's a nice thought.

However, Eva was still knocked out so that left Zeek to face Heather's rath on his own. The queen bee spun around and growled.

"Yes, I did win." She said, deathly and unusually calm. "But I didn't get my million dollars because you. Fell. Into. A. Volcano. With. It!" Then Heather suddenly lost it, and screeched at she lunged at Ezekial.

"Ay!" Zeek yelled, as Heather chased him around the cliff, dragging a surprised Alejandro behind her. Due to Eva's dead weight, Zeek didn't make it very far before Heather caught up to him and grabbed the former non-human by the arm.

"Let me go, eh!" Ezekiel protested as Heather dragged him to the edge of the cliff.

"Remember when you stole my million and fell into the volcano, Zeek?" Heather mocked. "Wanna do that again?"

Alejandro followed his mate, looking somewhat amused, making no plans to step in.

Ezekiel gasped. "Noo! Doont tos me in anodther lava pit, eh!" Heather growled when she reached the edge of the cliff.

"This is called payback, home school!" And with those parting words, the raven haired girl summed up all her strength and threw Zeek down into the jello.

Heather whipped her hands on her shorts, looking pleased with herself. "You know, maybe this volcano challenge wasn't such a bad idea."

Chris chuckled, before hosting. "And that makes four pairs of mates to dive into the volcano - all unwillingly, I might add. I hope they aren't hurt."

Noah snorted. "That's a lie if I ever heard one."

* * *

**Down in the volcano**

"Did you find the key yet, Trent?" Gwen asked, as Trent resurfaced from the jello. Trent shook his head.

"The handcuffs are stopping me from going deep enough. If we want a key, we'll both have to go down." Gwen groaned.

"Are you _serious_?" The Goth asked. Trent bit his lip.

"No, no, I'm sure I can do it by myself, if you don't want to go under." Trent offered. He took a deep breath. "Alright, I've done this eight times by myself now, let's hope nine's a charm!" Gwen's eyes widened.

"On second thought, maybe I will go down with you." Trent smiled, as Gwen got her breath and they both dived into the jello.

Meanwhile, Duncan was watching Trent through narrowed eyes while Courtney whined and complained. "I can't believe Chris used _jello _as lava! He knows how I feel about-"

"Courtney, catch your breath."

The CIT stopped complaining and looked at her mate. "What?"

"Hurry up and catch your breath: we're going under."

Courtney laughed dryly. "Um, yeah, no. You can find our key by yourself." Duncan growled.

"What's your problem? Your already covered in jello, it's not like going under is going to change anything." Courtney stuck her nose in the air.

"It's not about that… OK, maybe it has something to do with that. But I'm not doing it because you **cheated **on me and ended our relationship! And with Pasty McBoyfriendkisser, of all people! I mean, I could understand Lindsay, Bridgette, _Heather_, but no – you cheat on me with someone who's even paler then Edward Collin!"

Courtney suddenly grabbed Duncan by his chocker and pulled him so close that their noses were touching. "Do you know how impossible I thought it was to be paler then Edward Collin?!" Courtney was all but shouting now, and Duncan looked slightly taken back.

**"Edward Collin's down there?!" **

A female voice screeched, and before anyone knew what was happening, Lindsay came falling into the volcano, a surprised and terrified Tyler falling right behind her.

Lindsay fell beside Courtney, splashing her with jello. "EW!" Courtney cried, and started swiping at the jello, trying to get it off her body.

Duncan regained himself. "Listen here, _princess_: I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt, but that's not my fault!" Courtney stopped midswipe, and her onyx eyes narrowed.

"Not your fault?" She echoed slowly, before completely loosing it. **"Not your fault?! **It's **all** your fault, you dense, uncaring ogre!"

The brunette was screaming now, and when Duncan rolled his eyes, he saw Gwen and Trent emerging from the jello. Trent was supporting Gwen, and when he looked up, he caught Duncan's eye. The musician couldn't help but smirk, and Duncan felt the blood rush to his face.

Suddenly everything was red and before he could stop himself, the delinquent dived deeper into the jello - dragging Courtney along with him.

On the less complicated side of the volcano, Leshawna was gently slapping Harold's cheeks. "Harold?" She asked. "You OK?"

Harold's eyes fluttered open, before closing again. "Ughhh. Courtney... and Zeek are... heavy."

Like Courtney, Ezekiel had landed on the dweeb, and Harold had gone unconscious for a few minutes. He was just regaining his senses. "Leshawna?" Harold whispered.

"Yeah sugar?" Leshawna asked.

"C-come closer." Leshawna frowned, seeing as she was already having to hold Harold, but shrugged and leaned her face forward.

"Like this?" She asked. Harold nodded.

"Leshawna - my love - I don't think I'm going to make it. You should fear for the worse. But before I leave you forever, I-I want you to kiss me."

Leshawna rolled her eyes and dropped Harold. "Are you kiddin' me? Harold, this is not the time for kissing! Now get your scrawny white butt in gear and help me look for a key!"

Harold dropped his 'kiss me I'm dying act', and mumbled, "Gosh", under his breath.

"Eh! Help me eh!" Ezekiel cried suddenly, his arms failing above his head. "I can't swim, eh!"

The home school boy could not in fact swim, and Eva's dead weight was slowly dragging him down. "Should we help him?" Trent asked, panting, as he and his mate took a quick break.

Gwen shook her head. "Nah, he'll be fine. Come on, we _have _to find that key!" Trent nodded before diving back down into the jello.

Meanwhile, Lindsay was digging frantically into the jello. "Hurry up Thomas! We have to save Edward!" Tyler, who still looked confused, groaned.

* * *

**Confessional: **

**Tyler: *Throws his hands up* "Seriously? She remembers a fake vampire's name, but she can't remember her own boyfriend's name?" **

* * *

"Thomas, we need to go under the lava to find Edward." Lindsay declared. Tyler shook his head.

"Lindsay, my name is _Tyler_, remember?" The dumb blonde looked confused.

"What?" She asked. "You're not Edward. Edward is a super hot vampire." Tyler sighed.

"Forget it." He mumbled. Then, taking a deep breath, the wanna-be-jock went under the jello. Lindsay followed, but let her breath out as soon as she went under.

For a few minutes, every set of mates were under the jello, and everyone was silent, waiting to see who would emerge first.

When Lindsay and Tyler came up first, everyone rolled their eyes. Probably for Lindsay to get her breath again.

But it was actually Tyler who was gasping for air. "G-give me a minute Lindsay." He panted. "Just let me g-get my b-breath again." But Lindsay looked stubborn.

"Hurry up Toby! We haven't found Edward yet! All I found was this stupid key!" Then Lindsay held up a golden key, and this time everyone did gasp.

"Lindsay!" Tyler suddenly exclaimed. "Do you know what that is?"

Lindsay blinked. "Um... not Edward?"

"No! It's the key! We can get out of this volcano now!" Tyler said, hugging his girlfriend. The dumb blonde just looked confused now.

"We're in a volcano?"

* * *

**Back on top of the cliff**

Chris, as well as everyone else, was looking into the volcano.

"Well," Chris said, blinking, "It looks like Tyler and Lindsay are the first set of mates to find there key. What are the odds of that?"

"One in fourteen?" Noah supplied.

"Tysay!" Sierra cheered throwing more sparkles into the air, still clutching Cody, whose face was slowly turning blue from lack of oxygen.

Chris shrugged as he turned his attention back to the camera. "Well then, looks like there is a first time for everything. Anyways, it's time for our commercial break, but don't go anywhere! When we come back, questions will be answered: Will Tyler and Lindsay keep their lead in the race? Who will find the next key? And when will the _rest_ of these _chickens_ jump?" The host asked, jabbing a finger at the remaining campers.

"Hey!" Everyone protested.

In the background, Lightning was still trying to pull Scott off of his boulder. "No! The Lightning _will _be first!"

"Let me go, you crazy idiot!"

* * *

**RECAP**

**Alright, part two of three! I promise, most chapters won't take three parts to explain, and the most will probably be two parts. **

**Does everyone think that so far, this is an acceptable Aleheather tribute? Honestly, they are my OTP for life. But that doesn't mean their going to win this thing. I actually have a couple of ideas on who's going to win. If you don't already know, I have a poll up on my profile, asking who you would like to see win. Go and vote!**

**# The prize is finally revealed! A trip to Hawaii and 500,000 dollar shopping spree. Now, again, just because the prize is a trip to Hawaii does NOT mean that Aleheather is going to win. But I wanted somewhere ironic and romantic at the same time, and lets face it: the TDWT finale was a pretty big moment in TD history. **

**# So, Scott refuses to jump. Lightning doesn't seem very happy about that, now does he? I am really starting to love this couple (friendship, bromance, etc), and actually have a lot of stuff in store for them. How do you guys feel about Scottning?**

**# Does everyone like the Dunceny and Gwent I slipped in there? Hope so. I had a lot of fun writing for Courtney ;)**

**# Hmm. Heather doesn't seem to have forgiven Zeek yet, has she? And what's with Eva getting hit with a moose tranquilizer? Overkill, anyone? ... Nah. **

**# Poor Tyler. His girlfriend can remember a fictional vampire's name, but not his own? That must suck. But on the upside, she did find the key for them. B****ut can they keep that lead?**

**# What's this? Bridgette and Geoff are having relationship problems? I wonder how that's going to go down... **

**# Who thinks Cody is going to pass out? **

**# It looks like Trent's nine obsession is still there. But is he actually doing it on propose? **

**# Well now. Scott seems to be forming a grudge against Courtney. Poor girl. Enough people already don't like her...  
**

* * *

**REVIEW REPLIES **

*** Note - I'm only replying to last chapters reviews. Not any of the prologue reviews, though they were greatly appreciated :)  
**

**Iwriteandreadsometimes - Glad you think so! Humor has never been my strong point in writing ****(romance is), ****so I'm happy that I can actually make people laugh. **

**That1guythateveryonehates - Love your username! Anyways, was it really that funny :) I'm so glad you thought so! I've been getting a couple of reviews saying that it's funny, and it warms my heart ^ ^ Anywho, who would you like to see win TD:SW?**

**TDsuperfan - Thank you! And yeah... I don't really like Dott either... anyways, is there a couple you would like to see more of? Less of? **

**iamsoroh - Whoo hoo! Sparkles! Actually... where does Sierra get all those sparkles? *Shrugs* Oh well. Anyways, I'm glad someone liked Jock, instead of Joning or Jott. **

** .7121 - I know a lot of people would have liked Dott, but I'm glad that your OK with Nawn :) And yes, I don't really like Brawn either. And I hope you like the future Dott scenes, thought they will be strictly friendship... or teasing... depends on Scott's mood... so, anything you would like to see more or less of? **

**ChocolateCoveredBubbles - *Shrugs* Thats your own opinion. I'm sorry your not mature enough to just accept that this story is Jock, or at the very least, leave the story without leaving a very rude review. **

**loststorieshogwartz - Wow. Long username thank you! I'm glad you like it. And yep! Duncany! Hope I wrote them well... so, anyone you would like to see more or less of?**

** .5 - Your welcome :) I'm happy I could make you so... well... happy! However, just because there mates doesn't mean that they get back together ;) **

**Megamo - My thoughts exactly. Thank you for being mature. Anyways, yes, they WILL have scenes in the future. I hope I write them well! So, who do you think will win the challenge?  
**

**Onigiri - Glad you were able to accept my decision to add Jott, and be mature about it. And thank you! That really means a lot to me :) **

**ScourtneyFanGirl - If you read the summary, TD:SW is taking the place of TDAS ;) **

**Big fan - Really? Your favorite? Thank you so much! And I'm glad it made you laugh - I tried ;) And I can see why some people like Dott, and I respect that. **

**Poneythekidrs - Whoo hoo! *Throws sparkles in the air* Scottning!**

**Funnygirl - Well then. Thank you for expressing your support for my story xD **

**TheNiceCommenter - I hope your a nice commenter ;_) Anyways, here's your update! **

* * *

**NEXT CHAPTER **

**What happens next chapter?  
**

**# We find out who win's this challenge! Just because it's an Aleheather tribute doesn't mean anything. **

**# The teams are created, and the team names are given. Me and my brother had fun coming up with them ;)**

**# We get an inside look at Bridgette and Geoff's relationship. **

* * *

**QUESTIONS**

**# Who do you think is going to win the challenge? **

**# Any idea what the team names will be?**

**# Favorite pair of mates?**

**# What set of mates do you want to see more or less of?  
**

**# Remember to vote on my profile poll! **


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